The Moon Flu

The Moon Flu Take me to the moon, I gotta be on that lunar surface pronto. What’s the rush? Matters of national moon security I can’t discuss them with you, highly classified you know? Well...I guess I could let a little out, I mean you are just a lowly moon taxi driver. But you have to promise not to tell anyone, and I mean anyone.....or else. You know the rumors about the American colonies near the north moon pole? What you don’t? Jeez have you been living under a rock or something? What? You do live under a rock? Oh yeah, the lunar cave colonies. How’s that? I hear the air is great down there. But anyways, there have been increasing concerns back on earth about an outbreak of some kind of mysterious illness within the American moon colonies. Over the past few weeks several people have been hospitalized and two days ago a prominent statesman, Senator Moonderdash, was found on his moon porch....dead. Yes, it happened shortly after an important meeting with two other.... Wait! I’ve said too much already I should stop, lets change the subject, here tell me about your self. I mean what’s your story I can barely even see you up there it’s so dark out here in space. Oooh, are those moon pies? What? I can only have one if I continue with my story? Hmm, well I do love moon pies....I guess a little more info couldn’t hurt. Well this all started in the southern moon settlements about 4 months ago, hundreds of people had to be quarantined and some were even evacuated back to earth-side hospitals for further treatments. The American moon embassy alerted the Centers for Intergalactic Disease Control and researchers were dispatched to asses the situation. The CDIC researchers found that the disease is similar to the common moon cold but with one marked difference. This new strain is completely resilient to any and all available vaccines and treatments. This presents a strange problem because the cure for the common moon cold has been around for ages, everyone thought they’d never see the moon cold again, it’s almost like somebody engineered this flu purpos...WOAH! you know you almost hit that asteroid back there I mean keep your eyes on the space man. Now where was I? Oh yes, the difference between this new moon flu is that it is completely resilient to the usual medicines for lunar borne illnesses. The researchers worked for weeks collecting samples and examining infected patients but could find no effective treatment. The researchers ended up taking their samples back to their labs on earth to try and formulate a vaccine there, all I can say partner is wash your hands and cover your mouth when you’re up there. Scientists have had very little success for quite some time back on earth, though, leading them to begin looking for answers elsewhere. They have begun to look somewhere much darker than the common moon cold, a much darker place indeed. Biological Moon Terrorism. That’s where I come In. I am Space General Chris Thompson and I am headed to the moon to find the perpetrators behind this heinous space crime. We have several suspects in mind including the space Russians and the space Chinese. But we haven’t been able to narrow it down, whoever is doing this is mighty crafty. What do you mean it might just be a coincidence? It can’t just be a coincidence this is obviously an attack on the United Space States of America! Coincidence my titanium-alloy coated butt. You just let me do my job and you do yours.....and watch out for that space boulder! Woah you really need to learn to drive man, you new at this or something? But anyways....we seem to be narrowing in on a suspect. The last people to meet with Senator Moonderdash were the Russian and Chinese space envoys. They were coincidentally deliberating on a new national moon healthcare system that could have prevented an outbreak like this new moon flu from happening. What do you mean you don’t think Mooncare is the government’s business? Thats completely absurd. I mean what if you were to catch this moon flu? Well I guess you look healthy enough, from what I can see of you that is, it sure is dark out here. But this is all besides the point, we have located almost all of the people involved in the meeting. Ambassadors Lunar-Chi and Rushemoon are now being questioned in connection with the death. The only thing is, though, they would have no motive to attack the senator. The only other suspect is the moon taxi driver that delivered the ambassadors and he seems to have disappeared off the face of the moon shortly after returning the ambassadors. It’s all very strange...but before I let them rule this as another case of the moon flu that just got out of hand I want to see the scene for myself. Something just doesn’t add up and I intend to find out what that something is. How could anyone else have breached the meeting? The moon security was extremely tight. What do you mean it wouldn’t have been that hard? We had the best moon guards on the whole moon! Wait a minute...you look familiar, haven’t I seen you somewhere before? Hey you know you look exactly like the late Senator Moonderdash....oh you get that a lot eh? Figures I mean it’s remarkable. If I hadn’t seen pictures of him dead I would say... Wait stop, NO! What are you doing with that pistol, I demand you put that gun down, do you have any idea who I am? I am space general Chris Thompson of the United Space St...what do you mean that doesn’t impress you? Who are you!? Ah Ha! So you are Senator Moonderdash! But....how can this be!? So that was just a body double on your moon porch, you hijacked the moon taxi, killed the driver.....and now you intend to kill me too!? But why? Ah Ha! I see now! You’re behind the moon flu! You faked your death so you could create a massive moon panic and disrupt the Mooncare debate because you own a controlling interest in a massive Moonsurance company. It all makes so much moon sense now....HELP! Don’t take me to the moon!